Wife Upgrade
Dear Tech Support,
I am writing this letter as a last resort. Last year I upgraded
from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program
began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and
valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in
the product brochure.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
launches during system initialization, where it monitors all
other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3,
Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing
the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in
the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite
applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0,
but UN-install does not work on this program. Can you help me,
please!!!
Thanks, Joe
Dear Joe:
This is a very common problem that men complain about but it is
mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from
Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely
a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is
unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert
back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system
would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is
gained. It is impossible to UN-install, delete, or purge the
program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back
to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.
Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up
with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual
under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support." I recommend you keep Wife
1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed
myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section
regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all
responsibility for faults and problems that might occur,
regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to
enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use
of the "ESC" key because ultimately you will have to give the
APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to
normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the
blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very
high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve
the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and
Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install
Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported
application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible
damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support.
Dear Tech Support,
I am writing this letter as a last resort. Last year I upgraded
from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program
began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and
valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in
the product brochure.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
launches during system initialization, where it monitors all
other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3,
Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing
the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in
the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite
applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0,
but UN-install does not work on this program. Can you help me,
please!!!
Thanks, Joe
Dear Joe:
This is a very common problem that men complain about but it is
mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from
Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely
a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is
unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert
back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system
would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is
gained. It is impossible to UN-install, delete, or purge the
program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back
to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.
Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up
with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual
under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support." I recommend you keep Wife
1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed
myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section
regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all
responsibility for faults and problems that might occur,
regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to
enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use
of the "ESC" key because ultimately you will have to give the
APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to
normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the
blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very
high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve
the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and
Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install
Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported
application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible
damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support.