(jokes, tests,...)Favorites!!!

[botulism]

:lol::--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines. One for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter."

Said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.

God got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you allowed yourselves to be dominated by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

And the man replied, "I don't really know. My wife just told me to stand here."

 

[snail]

I believe in reincarnation. No one could be as stupid as you in one lifetime! 1



You're very down-to-earth.2

But I wish you were deeper


You are the blueprint for building an idiot!3


I'm busy now!
Can I ignore you some other time?4

 

[HappyDreams]

A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, 'Ketchup
!'

.............................................

what a pity I dont have any tomamto smiles.

d
​

 

[Nereid]

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

The old man says without hesitation "'I now pronounce you man and wife'".
:wacko:​

A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, 'Ketchup
!'

.............................................

what a pity I dont have any tomamto smiles.

d
​

http://*****************/kaos-vegetable-fruit-tomato-smiley-6240.gif
You can find more here!

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the boss' wife instead. "I'm afraid he died last week," she explains. The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. "I told you yesterday," the wife replies, "he died last week." The next day the same guy calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts, "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"

"Sorry," he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it!"

Poor widow

 

[Bella_aster]

Really Enjoyable Topic Thanks!

1. What do you call a woman in heaven? An Angel​

2. A crowd of woman in heaven? A host of Angels​

3. And all woman in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH!!!​

Hope U Enjoy!
​

 

[Nereid]

The below excerpts appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records and actually happened…

Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, “I have to kill you because you can identify me.”
Q: Did he kill you?

Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Were you alone or by yourself?

Q: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?
A: That’s me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Now then, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

​

Really Enjoyable Topic Thanks!

​

! You're welcome​

1. What do you call a woman in heaven? An Angel​

2. A crowd of woman in heaven? A host of Angels​

3. And all woman in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH!!!​

Hope U Enjoy!

[/QUOTE]
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

[Bella_aster]

You're welcome

Thanks a lot
[FONT=&quot]
For u :[/FONT]

again hope u anjoy!
[FONT=&quot]
Clever answers [FONT=&quot] by Kids
[/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Kids [FONT=&quot]in [/FONT][FONT=&quot]school[/FONT][FONT=&quot]think [/FONT][FONT=&quot]quick[/FONT][FONT=&quot]TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America .[/FONT][FONT=&quot]MARIA : Here it is![/FONT][FONT=&quot]
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS : Maria![/FONT][/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]____________ ________
[FONT=&quot]TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?[/FONT][FONT=&quot]FRANK : Because of the sign.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?[/FONT][FONT=&quot]JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"[/FONT][FONT=&quot]GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"[/FONT][FONT=&quot]TEACHER : No, that's wrong[/FONT][FONT=&quot]GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?[/FONT][FONT=&quot]DONALD : H I J K L M N O!![/FONT][FONT=&quot]TEACHER : What are you talking about?[/FONT][FONT=&quot]DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O![/FONT][FONT=&quot]____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we[/FONT][FONT=&quot]didn't have ten years ago.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]WINNIE : Me!
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?[/FONT][FONT=&quot]GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."[/FONT][FONT=&quot]MILLIE : I is...[/FONT][FONT=&quot]TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."[/FONT][FONT=&quot]MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?[/FONT][FONT=&quot]TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."[/FONT][FONT=&quot]____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry [/FONT][FONT=&quot]tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father[/FONT][FONT=&quot] didn't punish him?" [/FONT][FONT=&quot]LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?[/FONT][FONT=&quot]SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
TEACHER : Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as[/FONT][FONT=&quot]your brother's. Did you copy his?[/FONT][FONT=&quot]CLYDE[/FONT][FONT=&quot] : No, teacher, it's the same dog!;[/FONT][FONT=&quot]____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
[/FONT]TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?[FONT=&quot]HAROLD : ( A teacher )[/FONT][/FONT]​

 

[nsh]

Girlfriend 6.0 vs. Wife 1.0
Comparative Trial

Last year a friend of mine upgraded from GirlFriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources available for other applications. He is now noticing that Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). During installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0.
a "Don't remind me again" button
a Minimize button
An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 be installed with the option to uninstall at any time without the loss of cache and other system resources
An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the system's hardware probe feature to be much more useful.

I myself decided to avoid the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 7.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 7.0 on top of Girlfriend 6.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 6.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug that I should have known about. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conficts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 6.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing -- all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.
Bug Warning

Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

Bug work-arounds: To avoid this bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.1 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidently be downloaded from the UseNet.
Tech Support Suggestions

These are very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a Utilities & Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is indeed an operating system and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 6.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 6.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 6.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Some have tried to install Girlfriend 7.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings - Alimony/Child support". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with the situation.

I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of Luck,
Tech Support

 

[mahi58]

Very nice jokes! Thanks a lot sarah_aster​

 

[mahi58]

Girlfriend 6.0 vs. Wife 1.0
Comparative Trial

Last year a friend of mine upgraded from GirlFriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources available for other applications. He is now noticing that Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). During installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0.
a "Don't remind me again" button
a Minimize button
An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 be installed with the option to uninstall at any time without the loss of cache and other system resources
An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the system's hardware probe feature to be much more useful.

I myself decided to avoid the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 7.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 7.0 on top of Girlfriend 6.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 6.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug that I should have known about. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conficts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 6.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing -- all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.
Bug Warning

Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

Bug work-arounds: To avoid this bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.1 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidently be downloaded from the UseNet.
Tech Support Suggestions

These are very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a Utilities & Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is indeed an operating system and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 6.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 6.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 6.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Some have tried to install Girlfriend 7.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings - Alimony/Child support". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with the situation.

I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of Luck,
Tech Support

One of the greatset jokes I've ever heard!! Thanks a lot

Specially, the red sections​

 

[Bella_aster]

Girlfriend 6.0 vs. Wife 1.0
Comparative Trial

Thanks a lot!

Very nice jokes! Thanks a lot sarah_aster

:blush::blush: Thank you . Please call me Mina .

How guys select the girl they want to marry.....​

A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.
He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man.She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.​

The man is impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.
She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes.As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market.
She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.
She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money.

Guess which lady he chose to marry?
Think like a man . . .
:
He married the most beautiful one!!!!!!

Men are Men.... Obviously!!!​

​

 

[Bella_aster]

[FONT=&quot]A DIFFERENT LOVE LETTER AND A BEAUTIFUL REPLY TO IT[/FONT]​

​

[FONT=&quot]OFTEN HAPPENS IN LIFE[/FONT]​

​

[FONT=&quot]A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.

[FONT=&quot]My Dearest Praveena
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options

(a)10 marks, (b) 5marks and (c) 3 marks[/FONT][/FONT]​

​

[FONT=&quot]1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:

(a) Of love
(b) You couldn't control seeing me
(c) Really ... am I doing it?[/FONT]​

​

[FONT=&quot]2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:

(a) You always like to see me smiling
(b) You are testing whether I like jokes
(c) You are attracted by my smile[/FONT]​

​

[FONT=&quot]3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:

(a) You are so coy to sing before me
(b) My presence influenced you
(c) You feared that whether I'll like your song


4) When you were showing your child photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:

(a) You felt ashamed
(b) You felt uneasy
(c) You don't know


5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because:

(a) You enjoyed my disappointment
(b) You won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) You don't know


6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...

(a) You were waiting for me
(b) You were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) That bus was crowded[/FONT]​

​

[FONT=&quot]7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:

(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) You just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) Just you felt like introducing me to them


8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:

(a) To fulfill my wish
(b) You like roses
(c) By chance you got a rose[/FONT]​

​

[FONT=&quot]9) On that day, it was my birthday. you too came to temple early at 6:00 AM because:

(a) You want to pray along with me
(b) You want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) You want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual[/FONT]​

​

[FONT=&quot]If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it. If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.

Eagerly awaiting your reply..

Love,
Jijo


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]Praveena reply letter was also in Q/A format...... ..

Jijo,

Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.


1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.

(a) Yes
(b) No[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?

(a) Yes
(b) No


3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not?

(a) Yes
(b) No[/FONT]​

​

[FONT=&quot]4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo. You poked your nose inside..... right?

(a) Yes
(b) No


5) I avoided holding your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?

(a) Yes
(b) No


6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali) at the bus stand?

(a) Yes
(b) No


7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?

(a) Yes
(b) No


8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower.Is it true ?

(a) Yes
(b) No


9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple. Do you know ?

(a) Yes
(b) No[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.

Hope everything is clear to you.

Praveena
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Hope that you have enjoyed..... .....[/FONT]​

 

[TheBoss]

Thanks a lot!

​

:blush::blush: Thank you . Please call me Mina .

How guys select the girl they want to marry.....​

A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.
He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man.She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.​

The man is impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.
She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes.As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market.
She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.
She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money.

Guess which lady he chose to marry?
Think like a man . . .
:
He married the most beautiful one!!!!!!

Men are Men.... Obviously!!!​

​

racism ha !

 

[Bella_aster]

racism ha !

​

OH no :blink:! my God! it was just for fun ! :f34r:


Newton Law when he was in romantic mood

Universal law:

" Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from
One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money "


First law:

" a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl
in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless
any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and
break the legs of the boy. "


Second law:

" the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is
directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and
the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the
bank balance. "


Third law:

" the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite
to the force applied by the girl while slapping."

Hope u Enjoy!


​

 

[TheBoss]

OH no :blink:! my God! it was just for fun ! :f34r:


Newton Law when he was in romantic mood

Universal law:

" Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from
One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money "


First law:

" a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl
in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless
any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and
break the legs of the boy. "


Second law:

" the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is
directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and
the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the
bank balance. "


Third law:

" the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite
to the force applied by the girl while slapping."

Hope u Enjoy!


​

I know its for fun ,i was just kidding.and about these laws,i should say SAD but TRUE

 

[nsh]

SAD but TRUE

yeah i don't know why but it always goes this way

Thanks a lot

One of the greatset jokes I've ever heard!! Thanks a lot

your welcome
i don't know why but i have always thaught that everyone have heard this (maybe it's beacause of the fact that it was posted on the forum itself in the first place)

excuse me if i have some mistakes.it's been almost 3 years since i have spoken a word
i will be gladly open to any corrections

 

[nsh]

see this one on the original page (it has tables so i can't just copy and paste it)
http://www.math.unipd.it/~favero/varie/diziodonneuk.html

http://www.math.unipd.it/~favero/varie/giornoiduk.html

both are man vs woman

 

[mahi58]

Men are Men.... Obviously

​

Ain't it the sad truth? I'm a man and I know about this stupid mistake we all make, and I still can't help doing it! I guess we are created like this

see this one on the original page (it has tables so i can't just copy and paste it)
http://www.math.unipd.it/~favero/varie/diziodonneuk.html

http://www.math.unipd.it/~favero/varie/giornoiduk.html

both are man vs woman

Nice jokes again! :lol:
Specially the perfect day for men

Also, the women dictionary was very educational, thanks

 

[nsh]

Specially the perfect day for men

yeah it's perfect (specially rubbing own ba**s )

Also, the women dictionary was very educational, thanks

again it's true that men just think about s*x
i'm lick cleaning this math.unipd site so:
a lame version of girlfriend 6.0 vs wife 1.0


Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

Desperate

Dear Desperate:

Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:\>I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, Happyhour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "snoring loudly" wave files.

DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3.


another one ( if you haven't seen it by now) :
http://www.math.unipd.it/~favero/varie/infdonnauk.html

another :

http://www.math.unipd.it/~favero/varie/sintoniauk.html

 

[nsh]

these are obviously jokes so if they are inappropriate warn me (i don't mean to offend anyone)



A guy dies and wakes up to find he is in hell. He's really depressed as he stands in the processing line waiting to talk to an admittance counselor. He thinks to himself "I know I've led a wild life, but I wasn't that bad. I never thought it would come to this."

Looking up he sees that it is his turn to be processed into hell. With fear and a heavy heart, he walks up to the counselor. The counselor says:

-- What's the problem? You look depressed!

-- Well, what do you think? I'm in hell.

-- Hell's not so bad, we actually have a lot of fun. Do you like to drink?

-- Sure, I love to drink.

-- Well then, you are going to love Mondays. On Mondays we drink up a storm. You can have whiskey, rum, tequila, beer, whatever you want, and as much a you want. We party all night long. You'll love Mondays. Do you smoke?

-- Yes, as a matter of fact I do.

-- You are going to love Tuesdays. Tuesday is smoke day. You get to smoke the finest cigars and best cigarettes available anywhere. And you smoke to your heart's desire without worrying about cancer because you are already dead! Is that great or what? You are going to love Tuesdays. Do you do drugs?

-- Well in my younger days I experimented a little; never inhaled.

-- You are going to love Wednesdays. That's drug day. You can experiment with any drug you want and you don't have to worry about overdoses or getting hooked because you are already dead. You are going to love Wednesdays. Do you gamble?

-- Yes, I love to gamble.

-- You are going to love Thursdays because we gamble all day and night -- black jack, craps, poker, slots, horse races, everything! You are going to love Thursdays. Are you gay?

-- Well, no I'm not.

-- Oh, -- the counselor grimaces, -- you're gonna hate Fridays...